ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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