My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
