I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She has the best kind of daddy issues
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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