thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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