K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
