Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
