I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
