Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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