is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
