if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
