ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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