She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
