i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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