I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
