i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
