Is it because I queefed?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
