I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
