And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
