yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
