She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
