his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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