I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
