it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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