But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
