you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize