Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
