I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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