i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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