opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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