im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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