if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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