Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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