I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
