Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish my penis had a tongue
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm always down for nudity.
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