i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You pole danced in your parka.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
