i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
