I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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