No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
