fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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