margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
