He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
