that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
