is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
