problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
