if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
there is glitter all over my balls
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
