What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
