why didn't you poke me back
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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