so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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