the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
...so i touched it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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