I got chris browned last night
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You can't just leave with hair like that
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize