I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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