i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
