the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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