the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
