Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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