You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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