K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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