I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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