How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
there is puke in my bra ... again
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
