I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
