You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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