Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
