I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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