i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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